To Marie

Chaos and Entropy

One man gathers what another man spills.

You spoke of these passionately when you first joined the Outpost. Your thoughts on the subject, especially in regard to online threats, were fresh, if naive. It was obvious that you didn't understand the technical discussions we were prone to having in those days, you never did. But that didn't stop you and it wasn't long before you became the center around which the chaos was drawn. You pulled us in, kept us close, and tried to keep us from succumbing to the entropy that so consumed you.

You were fascinated by the forces of nature - that no matter how strong the hold may be, there is always something stronger pulling it apart. And yet, when the Outpost was attacked, and everyone bunkered down, you stood up and said it was time to rally the troops. Perhaps this was your naivete coming out or, maybe, you just weren't capable of being alone.

While I won't go as far as to blame you for what happened to the Sentries, it is clear that you were the one that brought us back when the website was restored to a sorry state and, for that, much of our fate was in your hands. Perhaps there is comfort to be found in the fact that so few did return.

It hurt you when only a few of us returned, mostly out of habit. Entropy. It's inevitable, Marie. You kenw that. But soon the forum was flooded with new members, members of a different sort. You were once again the mother standing there with her arms open while chiding me for not living up to your expectations. And, of course, I let you: what does that say about me, eh?

So, I listened as you encouraged us to welcome them despite their obviously lack of potential. That may be the wisest thing I did. I have come to admire their drive to move forward despite the hurdles in their path, even when they may think of me as one of those hurdles.

Perhaps that is why I have done what I have done.